"WHAT TO DO WHEN THE WIFE IS USING SEX TO
MANIPULATE THE MARRIAGE"
“The train is about to leave”
Copyright C 1998 by J.A.Mcbean.
Library of Congress
Washington.D.C.20559
T his article is design to show the good reasons and the bad reasons, it also design to show the man how to turn the table in his favor. But, you must read the whole article.
In my estimation, every human being dream of owning their own home. But, very few of them consider the responsibility of home ownership. For example. Let us look at just the up keeping of a home. If you refuse to cut the lawn, insect bread up, then rodent such as rats came to feed on the rodent, and the snakes came to feed on the rats. The same thing can be said of a marriage life.
Every woman dream of getting married. Then rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after. Few consider the responsibility of that marriage. Few consider the responsibility behind marriage life. Marriage life is hard work. It is like renting a room in your home to a stranger. He she has to use the bath room and the kitchen. He she has to go and come, and he she cannot entertained their friends at the gate, it is not proper.
What does this have to do with wife using sex to manipulate the marriage? Everything? I spent almost forty years of my life in the Christian faith. As I study and counsel Christians daily I found an ice berg of problem hidden that many pastor never saw are even talk about it.
The smallest problem between the Christians woman and her husband, the wife stop hiving sex as a punishment. Do not deal with this problem on your own, the first thing to do is go to the pastor of your Church and make a complain. You need to drag this problem out into the open. In all my years only one man told me that his wife do not behave like that. This happen to be an Seven day Adventist Christians. I ask him to tell me the secret to his success. He said “ he does every thing his wife want him to do”
THE SCRIPTURES ENCOURAGE BELIEVERS TO MARY IF THEY CANNOT HAVE SELF CONTROL.
1 Cor. 7:9 (Living Bible) But if you can't control yourselves, go ahead and marry. It is better to marry than to burn with lust.
THE SCRIPTURES ESTABLISH THE RULE THAT MUST GOVERN THE MARRIAGE BED.
1 Cor. 7:1-6 (KJV) Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. [2] Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. [3] Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. [4] The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. [5] Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. [6] But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.
WHEN THESE RULES ARE BROKEN FOR SELFISH REASONS. THERE WILL BE NO WINNER BUT SATAN.
1 Kings 13:11-14 (KJV) Now there dwelt an old prophet in Bethel; and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had done that day in Bethel: the words which he had spoken unto the king, them they told also to their father. [12] And their father said unto them, What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which came from Judah. [13] And he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass. So they saddled him the ass: and he rode thereon, [14] And went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak: and he said unto him, Art thou the man of God that camest from Judah? And he said, I am.
WHY WIVES SAY THEY REFUSES TO HAVE SEX.
It is important to know that it is not every time a female refuses sex to her husband that her reason are bad. Sometime there are legitimate reasons. Such as, she is being overwork, Sickness, menstrual cycle is on, or estrogen deficiency. Also, sometime she is just not in the mood. One woman told me she refuses her husband because in two second he is finish and cannot finish what he started. Another woman told me that the man refuses to go into the birth canal, but only want to go into her anal cavity. She continue to say he is a “ Dung picker”
COMMON PRACTICE IN CHRISTIAN CIRCLE.
1 Cor. 7:5 (NASB-U) Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Even in the time of the apostles, this was a common practice among Christians women.
THE REASON WHY CHRISTIANS WIVES CHOOSE THIS COURSE OF ACTION.
1 Tim. 3:2 (KJV) A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
1 Tim. 3:12 (KJV) Let the deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
Titus 1:6 (KJV) If any be blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of riot or unruly.
The phrase “One wife” is use three times in the scriptures. One wife for bishop, one wife for deacon and any body that want to uses the office of deacon or bishop must considering one wife only. Bear in mind that during the time of the apostles polygamy was the thing of the day. The entire Christian religion adopt the one wife doctrines for every one who want to marry. The Christian wife know that she stand supreme in the man’s life and he is only legal if he get it from her. But, what about when she refuses him for selfish reason?
HOW TO TURN THE TABLE ON HER.
Once the wife take up this course of actions the marriage is over. She vacant the marriage. The man is free to get somebody else. The problem is, how is the man going to prove what is happening to him to the judges? He cannot.
DEALING WITH A WOMAN.
A woman will never use a weaponed that is not effective. If she found out that , what she is doing is working, she will never change it. Any thing the woman is doing it is the same thing you the man must do. If she refuses you, stop pushing yourself on her. If she refuses your advance and make you feel like you should not want sex. Stop acting like you want sex. Never give a woman the idea that you are sold out to sex. Or your salvation depend on her. Regardless of what happening the man better get ready to find himself a new wife. Because, this action never really stop, until it end in the divorce court.
You might say. “The marriage is going to broke up like that preacher” I want to tell you it is already broken. Every action will produce a counter reaction. In a situation like that no body win. It cannot continue like that for sure. What about your need? A woman will disregard a tool until she has another one. How is she getting her need met? Never give a woman the idea that you are sold out to sex. Many Christians men do not have the faintest idea that, that tongues talking Christians wives sometime have two and three men right there in the church. And another two on the job.
SOMETIME ONLY JESUS CAN HELP US:
Matthew 6:33-AV But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Isaiah 55:6-AV Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near: Isaiah 55:7-AV Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the LORD, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
LOOK AT THE BENEFITS OF BECOMING A CHRISTIAN:
How does a person become a Christian, and are sure that he/she is save? First the person must know that he/she is a sinner and need deliverance from the lord.
Romans 3:23 (KJV) for all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Galatians 3:22 (KJV) But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A GOD:
Hebrews 11:6 NKJV But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD IS READY TO FORGIVE HIM:
Isaiah 55:7 (KJV)Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts: and let him return unto the Lord, and he will have mercy upon him; and to our God, for he will abundantly pardon.
THE SINNER MUST BELIEVE THAT CHRIST DIED FOR HIM:
Romans 5:6 (KJV) For when we were yet without strength, in due time Christ died for the ungodly.
Romans 5:8 (KJV)But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Cor. 15:3-8 (KJV) For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; [4] And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: [5] And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve: [6] After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep. [7] After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles. [8] And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.
MUST BELIEVE THAT GOD CAN KEEP HIM:
Ephes. 3:20 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
Jude 1:24 (KJV) Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,
PERFECTING THE SAINTS IS A WORK OF GOD:
1 Peter 5:10 (KJV) But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.
THE SINNER MUST KNOW THAT ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE THEM:
Acts 4:12 (KJV) Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.
THE SINNER MUST MAKE A DECISION TODAY:
Isaiah 1:18 (KJV) Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.
2 Cor. 6:2 (KJV) (For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time; behold, now is the day of salvation.)
BOW YOUR HEAD AND PRAY THIS PRAYER:
Lord I am a sinner and need your salvation. Forgive all my sins. I accept your son Jesus as my savior today.
We can sing with the song writer" I rise walk in heaven’s own light above the world and sin with heart made pure and garments white, and Christ en-throned with in. The cleansing stream I see I see I plunge, and O It cleans-eth me. O praise the Lord, it cleans-eth me, it cleans-eth me yes, cleans-eth me."
DROP ALL PRE-CONCEIVE IDEAS OF CHRISTIANITY:
Drop all preconceived ideas of Christianity because these conflict with the reality of Christianity. The lord will live the life through you day by day. You do not drop things from your life on your own. The spirit of God will walk you out of sins in his own time.
FIRST HUMBLING YOU:
Ephes. 2:8-9 (KJV)For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: [9] Not of works, lest any man should boast.
If you stop sins and get holy before God’s timing you will begin to boast how it is your own magnetism got you so far, then you became a source of discouragement to others. Therefore, you are going to stuck upon a sin or two. The sin always getting the better of you. This will push you to always accept God’s grace, and to see your own frailness.
1 John 1:8 (KJV) If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
TO CONTINUE GROWING IN GOD:
1 Peter 2:2 (KJV) As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby:
2 Peter 1:5-10 (NKJV) But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love. 8 For if these things are yours and abound, you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 For he who lacks these things is shortsighted, even to blindness, and has forgotten that he was cleansed from his old sins. 10 Therefore, brethren, be even more diligent to make your call and election sure, for if you do these things you will never stumble.
FINDING OUT YOUR CALLING:
When I was newly save, the believers always, ask me if I know the will of God for my life! I never really know what they were talking about. Every person that was saved had a mission and a gift. However, because you are just a babe in Christ you do not know any of these. As you go on with the lord his will for you will unfolds day bay day. Do not run off and make any big commitment. Your mate has to be tailor made for you by God. You are now a citizen of heaven. Heaven does not rule by democracy. You cannot serve God with democratic mind set.
WHAT YOU MUST DROP OFF:
Hebrews 12:1 (Living Bible) Since we have such a huge crowd of men of faith watching us from the grandstands, let us strip off anything that slows us down or holds us back, and especially those sins that wrap themselves so tightly around our feet and trip us up; and let us run with patience the particular race that God has set before us.
Ephes. 4:31 (Living Bible) Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives.
Col. 3:8 (Living Bible) but now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.
GET A GOOD BIBLE, AND FIND A GOOD CHURCH:
One of the best Bibles out there is the New King James Version. Dake’s annotated Bible is very good. Next, you need a living bible to make some thing simple.
Hebrews 10:25 (Living Bible) Let us not neglect our church meetings, as some people do, but encourage and warn each other, especially now that the day of his coming back again is drawing near.
PROTECTING YOURSELF FROM BEING SPOILED BY MAN:
Col. 2:8 (KJV)Beware lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.
Hebrews 13:9 (KJV) Be not carried about with divers and strange doctrines. For it is a good thing that the heart be established with grace; not with meats, which have not profited them that have been occupied therein.
Seven Ways that People Can Spoil Christians:
1. Through philosophy (Col. 2:8)
2. Through vain deceit (Col. 2:4,8,18-19)
3. Through human traditions (Col. 2:8)
4. Through human religion and world principles contrary to the gospel (Col. 2:8,14-23; note, §Galatians 4:3)
5. Through circumcision (Col. 2:11-13; Acts 15:1; Romans 4:9-16; Galatians 5:1-11)
6. Through the law of Moses, demanding observance of the laws on meats, drinks, holy days, new moons, feasts, and sabbaths (Col. 2:14-17)
7. Through cults that puff up and imitate the gospel (Col. 2:18-23)
By all these means, unsuspecting souls are being carried off as plunder and booty by false teachers. The founders of false religions and human philosophies which pamper the flesh and give their victims elated feelings of importance make an appeal to them.
Christianity is loaded down with some false concept. Some little believe system, which are spread by false believers. One of such teaching is that you must “Look like Christians” How does Christians look? Genuine Christianity is not an external thing but of the heart and spirit.
Micah 6:8 (KJV)He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?
When cults capture a newly converted Christians, the cult first job on that new believer is to close their mind. Preventing the new believer from reading any material from other churches. So that new believer will never get out of their trap.
YOUR HORMONE DOES NOT STOP WORKING WITH CHRISTIANITY:
Philip. 3:20-21 (KJV)For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ: [21] Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.
Romans 8:23 (KJV) And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
Our bodies were not save at conversion. The work of redemption took place in your spirit man. Our body will be redeemed at the return of our lord. We are still waiting for the redemption of our body.
According to Philip 3:20-21 and Romans 8:23. You are still going to have urges. You have to present your body to the lord as a living sacrifice. Not dead one. Living sacrifice give trouble, you will have trouble keeping that body tied to the altar. However, as you and I grow in the lord what seem impossible will be quite possible.
Come back for update soon.
Bearer Of The Mind Sword.
|
bravenet.com